


...And Then There Were Seven

by ssioufi



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Big Brothers, Clintasha - Freeform, F/M, Family, High School, teenage romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-07
Updated: 2014-08-19
Packaged: 2018-02-07 19:25:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1910859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssioufi/pseuds/ssioufi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’m serious about her brothers” Phil said grimly. “They will fuck you up, whether its because you’re serious or you’re not serious enough.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I feel like the Jaws theme song should play whenever you mention them. Its not like they’re some huge threat. A lot of people have it in for me. It's practically a school sport”.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Clint Barton believed that there were many many definitions of hell. Hell was high school. Hell was being ‘the new kid’ in a high school in a small town. Hell was being carted off to a new orphanage at the age of sixteen.

Hell was what his life was.

At the age of sixteen he’d long given up the hope of being adopted. It wasn’t even an upsetting topic to him it was just a fact of life. And after being swapped around his entire life from orphanage to orphanage he did appreciate finally being placed somewhere with the promise of it being permanent. He had only two years and then the government was done with him anyway.

Still, he thought, clenching his teeth and lugging his backpack off the bus and through the pouring rain as he trekked towards the school building, how on earth did they find this place? 

The village itself, the aptly named Downsville, wasn’t far from New York City, but it was a far cry from it. There was only one school within the area, Downsville Central School; and the people within the area had been given the nicknames ‘the flat noses’ because they loved to press their noses against their windows in an effort to know each other’s every dirty secret.

When Clint entered the building he attempted to shake some off the water that clung on to him off, before asking directions to the principals office. After a long chat in which he received his timetable and was given a speech about finding inner enlightenment, the principal himself escorted Clint to homeroom.

Because that would help ease him in. Christ on a crutch, this was a really small town. Did these people have nothing better to do?

He had to go through the mandatory stand-at-the-front-of-the-class-and-say-your-name and because he could hear a bunch of kids giggling at the scowl he knew he wore.

He had walked through pouring rain in cheap clothes. He’d love to see anyone try to hold back a scowl when they had to go around in wet underwear.

He was forced back to reality when he realized the teacher had asked him a question. “What?’ he said dumbly, drawing more snickers from the class.

The teacher, Ms Hill gave him a tight smile. “I asked you to tell the class three things about you, so we can start to get to know you better. Everyone here has known each other practically all their lives”.

Wow. Way to single me out as the outcast, Clint thought as he blinked incredulously at the teacher. He turned to face the class who were all staring at him expectantly.

You’ve always got your foot in your mouth Barton, you’re the resident asshole. This is a chance to start over. Clean slate and all that bull.

“My name is Clint Barton, it’s 9 fucking AM and I have soaking wet underwear, and this town is a fucking nightmare straight out of a crappy horror movie”.

 

Clint slammed his lunch tray on the counter and the lunch lady cast him an unamused look. “Chicken please” he muttered. He picked up his tray and sauntered over to the tables, boycotting the salad bar and hunching down in response to some of the smirks cast his way. It turns out people didn’t like to hear their homes bad mouthed and didn’t want to know about the state of his underwear. After a curt “Sit down” from Ms Hill that morning he’d been subject to hushed whispers and giggles all day.

He really didn’t see what the big deal was. High school sucked.

He cast a glance towards a table full of goth kids, and various other ‘rebels’, all who were giving him barely concealed sneers. He didn’t even fit in with the misfits.  
He didn’t fit anywhere.

 

With that thought in mind he stomped over to the nearest table, which was empty except for a kid he recognized from homeroom and Biology. The kid gave him a wary glance as he lowered himself in to the seat next to him.

 

“Mind if I sit here?’ Clint asked.

 

The kid shrugged “They’re calling you ‘Piss pants’ “ he said in lieu of an answer.

 

“That’s my stripper name, but since I can just tell we’re going to be good friends I’ll let you call me Clint” Clint responded.

 

The kid gave him a hint of a smile. “I’m Phil. And this is good news for me. Maybe they’ll finally stop calling me ‘Piss pants’.

 

Clint gave him a solidarity grin. “Did you get caught in the rain too?”

 

“No” Phil answered glumly. “I pissed my pants when I was nine during class by accident. People around here have good memories and not much to occupy themselves with”.

 

“I thing this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship”.

 

Clint operated on a theory. His life was a bad soap opera, a teen flick monstrosity. He followed ever cliché in the book in the rags to riches plotline. Orphan. Unwanted. Bullied. Outcast. Only defense is sarcasm and a sharp sense of humor. And if so far, all had gone according to plan, the turning point would have to go according to plan as well. There were several possible scenarios of course. He’d meet the love of his life who he’d have to go through hell and high water to be with making everything else inconsequential. He’d discover this amazing talent he never knew he had that would attract awe and would land some amazing opportunity. Or he’d meet and bond and save the world with a group of people every bit as fucked up as he was. That was how the story usually went anyway. It happened in Aladdin. And Harry Potter.

 

Rejection from society is what made the X-Men.

 

And if Clint didn’t childishly believe that the universe was holding out for something amazing for him, he’d lose his fucking mind. And till it happened he’d go around acting like a sarcastic, sour little shit.

 

Still, he felt like casting a glance upwards to ward of any tricks when what he hoped was scenario number one sat next to him the next day in Biology.

 

He did what felt natural and so stared creepily at the red headed beauty for what must have been a minute straight.

 

Probably tired of feeling his stare boring in to the side of her face beautiful green eyes turned and met his stare calmly.

 

“I uummm, I” Clint sputtered “I,uuuhh there was no one sitting here yesterday”.

 

“I had to miss the first day of school, my family just came back from camping, hope you don’t mind” the redhead told him with a small smile.

 

Clint nodded dumbly. “I’m Clint ” he blurted out.

 

Her smile turned in to a full blown grin, “I know who you are, news travels fast around here Piss pants”.

 

Clint expected to feel pissed off but he didn’t. She wasn’t being malicious; she honestly thought the gossip mill was fucking hilarious, judging by the sparkle in her eyes. And he honestly suspected that she could call him every dirty name in the book and he could care less.

 

Teenage hormones were a bitch but he could honestly say this was a first.

 

Class began right then so he couldn’t resume their conversation. When the bell rang she hurried out of class but not before giving him a smile and wave goodbye.

 

Why was it always the science partner that became the subject of romance?

 

He asked Phil for her name later when he discovered she was also in homeroom, and so consequently in English and Math with them. He’d exchanged a few more sentences and gotten more smiles out of her, but hadn’t gotten her name.

 

“Natasha” he mumbled while he rummaged through his bag. “She’s nice, we don’t talk much, but she’s actually nice and” Phil looked up from his bag suddenly and stared at Clint wide-eyed. “Why?”

 

Clint shrugged and grinned goofily “I don’t know, I mean we barely spoke two words and its stupid but, I don’t know. Usually I could care less about girls and none of them ever give me a first glance”.

 

“Forget it” Phil deadpanned.

 

“What?”

 

“I said forget it. Nat doesn’t date”.

 

“Why the hell not? She’s really nice and looks like a freaking princess”.

 

“Yeah and there’s more than one dragon guarding that tower’’ Phil said. “She has big brothers. Like, shit loads of them. Really really over protective ones. They’ve skewered any guy who has come near her so far. Cut your losses before you get too attached man”.

 

Clint snorted “Over exaggeration much? I told you that I could care less about girls and they me. I like her”.

 

“You don’t even know if she likes you back”. 

 

“Its not that big a deal, god its not like im proposing. I just met her and I have a small crush”.

 

“That could be even worse!” Phil exclaimed, “If you’re going to go after her you’d better think about proposing someday, do NOT lead her on!” 

 

Clint gave Phil a concerned look, “You alright man?”

 

“I’m serious about her brothers” Phil said grimly. “They will fuck you up, whether its because you’re serious or you’re not serious enough.

 

“I feel like the Jaws theme song should play whenever you mention them. Its not like they’re some huge threat. A lot of people have it in for me. It's practically a school sport”.

 

“Go like someone else” Phil suggested. “Someone who likes you and doesn’t come with a death penalty”.

 

“None of them will like me back. I may as well like the one I really want.”


	2. Chapter 2

The problem was, it wasn’t just a crush.

 

“I thought I was the one who was supposed to swoon and be the damsel in distress” Natasha teased, slicing the frog with what was far too much precision in Clint’s opinion.

“I’m not squeamish” Clint responded tersely, “I’d just rather not have to butcher Kermit”.

Natasha smirked. “I’ll do the labor, you write up the notes”.

“Deal” Clint said and began arranging the papers that were cluttered around their shared desk.

“Why is it always frogs?’’ Clint mused “Is it just for the sake of clichés and scenes in bad teenage romance stories?”

“They represent the typical vertebrate anatomy, ” Natasha answered, and Clint didn’t have to look up to know she was smiling. “And it weeds out the weak in every Bio class”.

“I don't damsel well. Distress, I can do. Damseling? Not so much.”

The teacher then called for the attention of the class and Clint redirected his gaze towards him.

He was two weeks in to the school year. He didn’t have any relationships platonic or otherwise, outside of Phil. But there was one he really, really wanted.

Phil’s garbled and paranoid warnings did nothing to lessen Clint’s interest in Natasha. Aside from the fact that she was beautiful, she was funny. And smart. They laughed and joked together. And she didn’t recoil at the sight of him. In fact, Clint would even go as far as to say she liked him. 

The class began to pack up at the sound of the bell and Clint handed Natasha her books from his side of the desk.

“Well im glad you were here to save me from a horrible turn of events. I’ll be sure to call should I find myself in distress and I can’t possibly survive without you”.

The corners of her mouth curled up in amusement. “Is this your idea of hitting on me Piss pants?”  
His eyes widened in surprise-he hadn’t meant it the way it came out. “No, I, um…no.”  
The mirth didn’t leave her expression as she rose from her seat. “That’s a shame,” she said casually as she departed the room.

Maybe, just maybe she liked him.

“You should have gone for it Barton” the teacher called from two desks away where he was clearing up some equipment.

Clint blinked and looked around, realizing he was the only student left in the room, and he hurried of to his next class.

 

“I’ve never actually been on a date,” Clint confessed to Phil as they set their lunch trays down. “I’ve never actually done anything with a girl, not even kiss one as a toddler”. He left out the fact that it was because not even toddlers were interested in the snivelly orphan kid.

Phil glared at him but said nothing, shoving a forkful of mashed potatoes in his mouth.

“Phil? Were you listening to me? I swear, she flirted with me!’’.

“She’s baiting you” Phil hissed. “In to her web, so she and her brothers can feast on you. Like a spider. She’s the Black Widow and you’re the fly!’’

Clint stared at him wordlessly and Phil looked away sheepishly.

“Not exaggerating’’ he mumbled.

Clint looked over to where Natasha was sitting with two of her friends, a blonde named Virginia who everyone called Pepper and a brunette whose name he didn’t know.

“Her web is worth getting caught in” he said. Then he frowned. “Fuck that was sappy. Don’t repeat that. It was a crap line”.

 

It was another week before he actually built up the courage to do anything. Rather than grasp for an opening in the middle their Biology lecture, he waited for her after school.

“Hey’’ he called out from where he was waiting as he caught sight of her. “Nat! Wait up!’’

She turned to face him and smiled when she saw it was he. She began walking towards him.

“Hey” she said when she reached him. “In distress again?’’

Clint grinned and stood up straight, squaring his shoulders. He was going to be confident. Girls liked confident.

“You like me” he blurted out. Well fuck.

She raised an eyebrow at him. “It’s normal to like guys who seem to like you’’.

 

“Huh” Clint said, “Do a lot of guys seem to like you?”

 

She merely grinned at him in response.

 

“Ok. Well…since I’m apparently vying for a place here…what are you looking for?’’

 

“ I’m sixteen. Cheap thrills, mostly,” she said teasingly.

“I could be that. And more” Fuck he was just on fire today, wasn’t he?

Natasha gave him a demure smile. “This sounds like a job interview”. She looked behind her as a black car drove up. “I have to go or I’ll be late for my martial arts class” she turned to him again. ‘’Why don’t you meet at the park at five o’clock for a walk and we’ll see if you’re fit for the job?’’

“The job of cheap thrills, or more?’’

“Up to you’’ she called to him as she walked away smiling.

For the first time since entering the desolate town, Clint went home wearing a smile and with a skip in his step.

 

“Ok. So…I’ve heard things.”

Natasha blinked. “About me?”

“About what could happen to me if I ask you out”.

“Ah”. Natasha smiled. “Phil told you about my brothers. And you never did ask me out. I had to take initiative. Again”.

“Well I have to know what I’m getting in to’’ he answered jokingly. “How many people do I have to get through to court the fair Lady Natasha?’’

Natasha scowled. “My opinion is the only one that matters. It’s the twenty-first century. And you move fast, talking about meeting my family when you haven’t even officially asked me out yet’’.

Clint stops walking abruptly. “Natasha. Will you do the honor of continuing this walk in the park with me, and considering it a date?’’

Natasha mock gasped and grabbed both his hands. “Yes, yes a thousand times yes!” 

They both grinned at each other and then carried on walking. This time with their hands entwined.

“Five’’ she told him abruptly.

“What?’’

‘’I have five brothers. Thor is in his last year of college, but he still lives with us since he isn’t far from us. Steve is in his first year of college, but he still lives at home and goes to the same college as Thor. Bruce and Tony are fraternal twins and they’re eighteen but they’re home schooled, cos they’re kind of geniuses. And Bucky is Steve’s best friend, but we’ve practically adopted him since his family moved away and he stayed for college and he pretty much lives with us. He’s been around all my life. And then there’s my Uncle Nick. There is a lot of testosterone in my family”.

“You have a brother named Thor?”

“His real name is Donald. But we call him Thor because when I was younger I though that when he walked around he sounded like thunder. He’s huge and rowdy. And you know. Because his real name is Donald.”

“Huh. Interesting” Clint said. He didn’t mention the absence of her parents in the picture. “A big family. Sounds…nice?”

Natasha snorted. “You wont be meeting them for a while.’’

Clint gripped her hand. “I know it sounds insane that we’re talking as though I’m going to need the blessing of your family. But I like you Nat. And I’m not sure I believe in all that crap about young love or love at first sight, but I have a feeling I’m going to be meeting your family sooner than you think. For whatever reason you want to call it, I don’t see us not working out. I really really like you.’’

He heard rather than saw the smile in her voice when she answered “It's not insane. I get it. I really really like you too”.


	3. Chapter 3

All the romance crap that Clint had previously and wholeheartedly scoffed at it turned out to be agonizingly true.

 

Parting was such sweet sorrow.

 

That phrase had always made bile rise up. But it was nothing short of the truth.

 

All though that could be in part because for him that meant returning to the orphanage, where he was lucky to have a room to himself and he was made victim to endless tantrums and screaming. 

 

Natasha’s smile did make him melt. He’d seen complete retards bend over backwards every time a girl threw a smile their way, anxious for the slightest bit of attention. And he’d mocked them. Enthusiastically. But now…

 

If she wanted his last bite of ice cream, which he never in his life had given to another person before, and she gave him that smile, she’d get it, simple as that. Knowing he was the one who was able to draw it out made him feel…like he was worth something. That he wasn’t just mouthy kid whose only defenses were sarcasm and a scowl.

 

He’d gotten a job, working in the only sports store I town. He did all the dirty work that that the owner who was surgically attached to their telephone didn’t feel like doing. Cleaning, inventory, hauling the equipment in and whatnot. And he got paid peanuts for it. But he didn’t care, not if it meant he could treat Nat to an ice cream now and then. She never complained about his obvious lack of funds and had even proposed treating him to things but he wouldn’t allow it. He’d been charity all his life; he wasn’t gong to be charity to her.

 

So they just hang out to together, going on cheap dates and they were better than anything money could buy because they talked together and laughed and didn’t give two fucks what people thought of them. 

 

He especially didn’t give two fucks what Phil thought. His friend had become twitchy eyed with anxiety. And garbled all kind of nonsense about her big brothers that were going to avenge her and Clint had learnt to turn his worry for his friend off and go deaf whenever the subject was brought up.  
On one day when Clint could afford to splurge and treated Natasha to an ice cream and a walk in the park, the honeymoon period ended. Abruptly.

 

She’d been talking about her Martial Arts class, and how satisfying the sound of a body thumping the floor is, when a guy stepped right in front of her, stopping her dead in her tracks.

 

She dropped his hand like a hot potato and Clint’s hand felt oddly empty without it.

 

The guy was eating a packet of blueberries and had eyed their joined hands with a look that Clint couldn’t read.

 

“Good to see how studying after school with Pepper and Betty is going. Always so vigilante in your studies”.

 

He gave Clint a once over. “Seriously? We chase away the losers and this is what you allow to taint our reputation? With your looks you don’t have to settle sweets”.

 

Clint gave him a filthy look “I’m certainly an upgrade from what she’s used to”.

 

The guy laughed wholeheartedly and smirked at Clint “The sass is strong in this one”.

 

His comment was met with silence and he held his hands out. 

 

“Nothing?”

 

Natasha fixed him with an unamused look “ I get it. Star Trek. “

 

The guy pouted, “You’re breaking my heart”.

 

Natasha scowled, losing her cool in front of Clint for the first time since he’d met her.

“Tony…”

Clint blinked. “Tony? As in your brother Tony?’’

 

Tony mock gasped and clutched his heart “You talk to him about me? Cause I have no fucking idea who you are. But I can assure you we’re going to get better acquainted”.

 

“Where’s your other half?” Natasha interjected.

 

“Bruce is collecting bug samples from the bushes. Shall I call him over?” he practically purred.

 

“No” Natasha spat out. ‘’Because we were just leaving. See you at home’’. Natasha turned and Clint was about to follow before Tony put both his hands on their shoulders.

 

“Oh no you don’t’’ he said in a falsely cheery voice. “You’re coming home with me young lady and then the little boy can scurry off. But, Halloween is right around the corner. Since you’re so keen on this one why doesn’t he join us?’’

 

The near manic glint in his eyes belied his cheery tone.

 

Clint was beginning to fear for his life.

 

“Or,” Natasha said turning to Clint, “If you want to skip the whole awkward meet-the-family social event you could just submit your life story including your view on politics religion, movies and every social issue imaginable along with anything else you think they might need to conduct a thorough background check.' 

 

Tony gave an exaggerated sigh. "I really don't know why I even bothered trying to be nice about this”.

 

“Neither do I. It's not like he isn't going to realize he's being vetted as sister-dating material.”

 

Clint grinned despite the way this meeting was going. “So we are dating.” They hadn’t officially put a label on it yet.

 

“No. You have to pass the exam first. It'll take you awhile to compile the data. They'd like it in seven copies.’’ She stated sarcastically and turned back to Tony with a glare. “I have my cell phone. Since we aren't officially dating yet I'm sure you'll agree that's all the protection we need.”

 

Tony choked on a blueberry. “Home. Now” He hissed angrily once he had finished coughing.

 

Tony literally dragged an angry Natasha away, who was practically clawing at him, as Clint stood there, abandoned and confused.

 

That certainly could have gone better.

 

With that revelation came the realization that…he hadn’t started it. For once. He hadn’t ended it either, not knowing how to react to a stand off when family was concerned.

 

Wouldn’t be the first time his existence caused a problem.


	4. Chapter 4

Clint didn’t know whether or not Natasha was avoiding him over the weekend.

He didn’t have a phone for her to ignore his calls, and he didn’t where she lived for him to stop by. He’d imagined when she’d been escorted away from the park that it was over between them, and as the weekend dragged on his thoughts only grew darker. He threw himself in to his schoolwork with relish, hoping to distract himself from the series of fuck-ups that was his life.

A guy could only take so many plot twists and dead ends before he began to wonder if the universe had any kind of great plan in store for him, or he was some kind of defect who would never get anywhere or who would have a life completely devoid of happiness.

He acknowledged that he was being slightly melodramatic, but he was a heartbroken sixteen year old after all.

When Monday finally rolled around, he considered feigning illness as he trudged towards the shower. 

Jerking off in the shower. That was the high point of his day. It would all be down hill from here.

 

He still hadn’t gotten a chance to speak to her when he reached his lunch period. That was normal though she always came late on Mondays because of her brother’s schedules.

So, it completely shocked both Clint and Phil when Natasha slammed her lunch tray on to their table.

“They’re serious”. She looked up and caught Clint’s bewildered expression and added “About Halloween. They want you to come over before our Halloween party. What?” She said in response to Clint’s unchanging expression.  
Clint blinked and shook his head. “Nothing. I just thought…” He broke off his sentence and grinned at Natasha. “I missed you. Our date was cut short.”

Natasha’s expression softened as she smiled back at him. “I know. I’m sorry about Tony. He’s probably going to be the most difficult. And he riles up Bruce, which makes everything worse. No one wants to see Bruce angry. “

“He’s bipolar,” she said in response to Clint’s expression. “He has it under control for the most part but we still never know when he’s going to snap and he doesn’t react well to anything that could potentially piss him off”. 

“He’s Tony’s twin right?’’ Phil piped up “Fraternal twin. And they’re like, geniuses”.

“Yup” Natasha answered with a small smirk “The science bros. The fact that they’re home schooled is a public service. Anyway, back to Halloween. They want to officially meet you before our party. The party starts at six and they want you to come over straight after school. Bring a costume. And Phil’s invited to the party too of course”.

“What are you going to go as?’’ Clint asked in an attempt to digress from the topic of meeting her brothers. “I bet you’d make a good Wonder Woman’’.

“Oh no’’ Natasha laughed. “I’m not a fan. I prefer a femme fatale. They’re sexier and smarter”.

“Catwoman then. I bet you’d look great in a leather suit” Clint wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“I bet you’d love that. I’ll keep it in mind” She picked up her tray and got up from their table.

“You’re meeting her family?” Phil exclaimed the second Natasha stepped away. “This morning you made it sound like it was over between you two and now you’re meeting her family? That’s pretty serious man; I didn’t know you guys were like having feelings. Did you make out a will? ”

“Hahaha” Clint deadpanned. “So what if one of her brothers is annoying as fuck? They can’t all hate me. It’s gotta be statistically unlikely”.

“Damn. You’re going to get the shit beaten out of you AND you’re going to fail math”.

Halloween rolled around sooner than expected, and Clint found himself making the trek from school to Natasha’s house.

“They offered to pick us up from school but I figured you should have as much time to mentally prepare as possible” Natasha rambled. Natasha never rambled. It was the oddest thing Clint had ever witnessed. If what awaited him frazzled Natasha it was not going to be good.

He was glad for the taser that he had spotted Phil sneaking in to his bag.

“Also this way they’ll be preoccupied with setting things up for the party and putting on their costumes. You brought a costume right?”

“Yup” Clint answered. He’d brought a sheet with eyeholes in it that he had had to steal anyway. Say hello to Casper the not-so-friendly-fucking-ghost. 

“At least you won’t be meeting my Uncle Nick just yet. He’s almost always away on business.”

“What does he work as?”

“Honestly? I’m not quite sure. Something to do with security? He doesn’t really like taking about his job at home so I don’t know the details”. 

They finally rounded a corner-on to the street that Clint recognized as the rich part of town and stopped in front of a mansion.

Seriously she lived in a freakin mansion. He’d recognized that Natasha always wore nice clothes, which he now suspected were designer, but he hadn’t realized that she was rich.

Regardless of how daunting the mansion and this realization was he squared his shoulders and followed Natasha to the front door, Had Alderaan not been blown up Han Solo would surely have gone to meet Princess Leia’s family. He was officially dubbing himself Han Solo.

When Natasha opened the door something huge and furry bounded out and jumped on Clint.

“You have a dog?” Clint asked needlessly while grinning and petting the creature. He’d always liked dogs, and had always planned to get one for himself someday.

“Yeah” Natasha said. “And a cat. Steve picked the dog and I picked the cat”. She entered the household and Clint and the dog followed.

“Guys!” Natasha called up the staircase that faced the front entrance, ‘’I’m home!”

A guy in a pirate costume appeared at the top of the staircase, grinning. “It’s your lucky day. They went out to load up on snacks and should be back in ten”.

Natasha rolled her eyes. “Seriously Bucky? Jack Sparrow? Did you use up all my eyeliner?’’ she appraised him as he came closer “You apply it better than I do”.

“Smear like it’s the blood of your enemies baby” he responded, reaching them. He gave Clint a once over. “Tony was right. You are on the small side”.

Clint ignored the remark and held out his hand. “Clint Barton”.

Bucky ignored his hand and clapped him on the back “Bucky Barnes”. He turned to face Natasha “This place is going to go to hell in a few minutes so go put you costume on from now so there are no fights between you and Tony over the mirrors”.

Natasha snorted and turned to take Clint’s hand but Bucky held him back “Oh no” Bucky said grinning. “Over my dead body is he going upstairs with you in to your room, unless I stand in the doorway the whole time. He’s staying down here with me”.

Natasha looked at him warily and then seemed to deem him not a threat. “I’ll be right back” she called over her shoulder to Clint as she ascended the stairs.

“Sit down” Bucky told Clint as soon as Natasha was out of earshot; Clint sank in to a lavish armchair near the foot of the stairs without question. “We all have it in for you, and we haven’t even met you yet. Seriously, all five of us. And her uncle hasn’t been told yet. Nats too young to date, and looking at you I can just tell you’re in to funny business”.

“So what, if I survive the shit you guys throw at me I can date Nat in peace. Is this like trash talk before a fight?”

Bucky gave Clint a look that made him feel two inches tall and then walked off without a word, the dog following him.

Once again, Clint had been abandoned.

Right on que, the front door slammed in and a bunch of guys poured in.

They stopped dead in their tracks and stared at Clint.

Clint stared back.

“Why is there a homeless boy in our house? one of them asked.

Before Clint could retort Tony stepped forward with a flourish. “And I present to you, the homeless dude Natasha brought home. This is even worse then the first time Steve brought Bucky home. Bucky pulled the homeless look off better, he manage to look like a neglected puppy.”

A blonde guy stepped forward with a warm smile and held out his hand that wasn’t carrying a plastic bag. “Hi Clint, I’m Steve. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

It didn’t look like the others shared that sentiment.

“Tony has told us a lot, and Nat hasn’t told us anything at all.’’ Steve was right up close to Clint now and he seemed to lift Clint right out of the chair. “Bet I bet we’ll all get to know you really well today.”

This time there were grunts of assent from behind him. The other blonde guy, the one who had made the homeless comment and the biggest of them all was eyeing Clint as though he were an insect. That he really really wanted to squash.

Just then someone bounded down the stairs. “I’m ready!” Natasha announced as she reached the bottom of the stairs. Clint’s jaw dropped.

She’d gone with Catwoman.

The leather suit was very complimentary.

“No way”. Steve said immediately. “Go upstairs and change right now young lady. That costume is far too” he wrinkled his brow “Suggestive.”

“Oh Steve don’t be a prude” Natasha said brushing him off. “You’ll see a lot worse and I don’t have anything else that fits me”.

“That looks like it might be a little small on you” Steve stated dryly.

“Clint” Natasha said veering the attention way from herself “What’s your costume?”

Clint pulled his sheet out of his backpack.

“That’s pathetic” Tony interjected. He shot Clint a manic grin that put the Joker to shame. “I have an old costume that’ll fit you”.

And it begins Clint thought.


	5. Chapter 5

It was a Robin Hood costume.

Complete with a skirt, which Clint was fairly sure was not actually part of the costume, and a hat.

It did wonders for Clint’s self esteem.

Natasha couldn’t contain her glee as she helped Clint smooth it out.

“Don’t give me that face. I think you look adorable”.

“What kind of guy wants to look adorable?” Clint answered grumpily.

Clint looked at the room around him as Natasha bent to adjust her boots.

The floor was littered with books and random tools, the two beds looked like they hadn’t been made in years and the two large desks against the wall were cluttered with beakers and other utensils that looked as though they belonged in a lab.

And a smell permeated the room. It kind of smelt like oil.

“So Bruce and Tony share a room?”

“Yeah” Natasha replied “And we went ahead and put a second bed in Steve’s room since Bucky pretty much lives here anyway. He even has a house key. Thor and I have our own rooms”.

Steve, who entered the room, opening the door completely, interrupted them.

“Keep the door fully open at all times” he told Natasha sternly.

Natasha scowled. “We didn’t do anything wrong, he changed in the bathroom. A little privacy would be nice”.

“Now why would you need privacy?” Bucky who came in after Steve asked. “Why is privacy important? In China, the whole family live together. Great grandparents, grandparents, parents, their children, cousins, the whole shebang. They always eat together and share everything. Privacy makes people lonely. Privacy makes families fall apart. In an effort to keep Clint in the loop, there shall be absolutely no privacy while he’s here.”

 

He turned to Steve after he had finished appraising Clint. “Why does Tony even have that costume?”

 

“He lost a bet to Thor”.

 

“Come on” Natasha told Clint sullenly. “We’ll go downstairs to help set up.”

Downstairs they were greeted by the sight of Thor hoisting a massive table on his own and putting it at the far end of the room.

Neither Thor nor Bruce had attempted to make conversation with him so far. He couldn’t decide if that was a good thing or a bad.

Clint and Natasha began laying out snacks and the table.

“You’re brothers don’t seem to be warming up to me”.

“Hmmm” Natasha responded noncommittally.

“Nat” Clint said causing her look up from what she was doing. “I’ll leave if it makes things easier, I don’t want to be the cause of any problems between you and your family”.

“You stuttered like an idiot,” Natasha told him.

“What?”

“My father told me once to never date anyone who talks smoothly around you from the start, because if someone likes you they should be a little nervous and you should render them a complete idiot and honestly I think that’s some of the best advice anyone has ever given me”. She leaned forward and pecked Clint on the nose. “You stuttered like an idiot. And I’ve grown fond of you. You’re staying.”

 

Clint gave her a dopey grin. “You sure its not because you want to torture me with that outfit all night?”

 

Natasha gave him a coy look. “I did this for my own ego. Women dress for women, if we dressed for men; we'd all be running around naked. Watching you trip over your own feet all night is an added bonus”. With that she walked away towards the kitchen and Clint couldn’t help but admire the view.

 

Someone cleared their throat behind him and Clint whipped around, blushing as he realized he’d been caught staring. Bruce was staring at him with a placid expression.

 

“It’s not what…I wasn’t…”

 

Bruce’s expression didn’t change as he mimed slitting his throat.

 

 

An hour later the party was going full force, and Natasha had left him for a couple of minutes to talk to her friends. Clint entertained himself by shooting little plastic arrows with his fake bow and arrow at people who seemed like assholes. He was quick to judge. He got every single target and then hid the bow behind him surreptitiously when they looked around suspiciously. No one noticed the short kid in the dorky costume, making him a master assassin. 

 

If there was one thing Clint was excellent at it was, surprisingly, archery. He had picked it up in earlier schools in order to get out of doing actual PE. Due to his impeccable aim, mainly owed to years of playing darts at the orphanage, one of the few things you could do there, he quickly flourished in the activity. Not that it helped in a single aspect of his life.

 

He was interrupted from his thoughts by someone shoving a taser in to his hand.

 

“Never leave a weapon behind,” Phil hissed at him.

 

Clint blinked at him. “How the hell did you get that? It was in my bag upstairs”.

 

Phil gestured towards his own costume, “I was practicing valuable skills for the sake of my future profession”.

 

Clint looked at him and snorted. “James Bond. Don’t you think you’re aiming a little too high?’’

 

“Have you seen my organizational skills and successful attempts at subterfuge? I could totally join the secret service”.

 

“Yeah Phil. You’d be perfect for the job.”

 

“Whatever.” Phil smirked a little as he took in Clint’s costume. “Are you wearing that by choice?”

 

“What do you think?” Clint grouched.

 

Natasha came up to them then.

 

“Hey Phil. Mind if I borrow Clint for a second?’’

 

Phil smiled at her. “I think he’d rather it was all night”. He leaned in close to Clint as Clint began to follow Natasha. “Hand on taser at all times. They probably have radars that go off as soon as she’s alone with a guy.” Clint rolled his eyes as he pushed Phil away from him.

 

Natasha led him up to the roof. Another cliché he was a slave to. The stars really were beautiful from up there and it was romantic as hell.

 

Natasha wrapped her arms around him and Clint grinned in response.

 

“I was gossiping to my friends about you,” she teased.

 

“You were?’’ he gasped mockingly “I hope you did me justice”

 

Natasha gave him a lazy smile. “I know it’s sudden, but they reminded me that I completely forgot an important step in our relationship” she said raising her lips to his. “All star crossed lovers have to make out under the stars.” She teased. Clichés are clichés for a reason.

 

He loved kissing Natasha. It wasn’t one of those sloppy kisses that couples made sure everyone witnessed. Teenagers took the intimacy out of kissing. That wasn’t the case between him and Natasha. It was a perfect to end to a not-so-perfect day.

 

Right up until someone grabbed Clint by the back of his shirt and roughly pulled him away.

 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Thor’s voice boomed as he glared angrily down at Clint. Clint saw the other brothers coming up the staircase behind Thor. Steve was the first to assess the situation.

 

“This is not what we agreed on Natasha” Steve reprimanded her, glaring between her and Clint.

 

“The door was open” Natasha responded archly.

 

An argument erupted between them. Meanwhile, Thor physically lifted Clint up to eyelevel.

 

The first thing that Clint thought was he was flashing them all Marilyn Monroe style due to the wind and his skirt.

 

“What the hell were you doing molesting my sister?” Thor growled at him.

 

“Seemed pretty consensual to me” Clint choked out. Thor’s grip on him tightened.

 

Clint honestly didn’t mean to do what he did. Thor was huge. And he was wearing a Zeus costume, which only added to his intimidation. Whipping his taser out of his pocket was a reflex; Phil had instilled the paranoia in to him. 

 

Unfortunately, when Thor slumped over, he dropped Clint headfirst right on to the cement floor.


	6. Chapter 6

In retrospect, Clint would acknowledge that being semi-unconscious was a surreal experience.

 

He had blacked out for only a couple of seconds but it had felt like hours. And when he came to, everything was blurred. In the distance he could hear Natasha screaming something but couldn’t make out the words. Next to him he could hear several people talking.

 

"This won't be so bad. How about your blanket? We could wrap him up in the blanket. That why we could pick him up without actually touching him." 

 

"I suppose that'd be all right, we could give it a try" 

 

“Don’t be idiots, you’re not supposed to move an unconscious person unnecessarily”.

 

“Yeah and besides Uncle Nick took the other car and not all of us will fit in the back. We’d have to stuff him in the trunk. I don't want to get a ticket. I hear the police are real picky about having things sticking out of your trunk." 

 

“Especially bodies.” 

 

“Shut up! All of you”. That voice was definitely Natasha.

 

He felt someone kneel next to him and touch his cheek lightly.

 

“Clint?”

 

Clint released a groan.

 

He heard Natasha exhale “Oh thank god!’

 

He was able to stand with some help a couple of minutes later. Thor was perfectly fine because Clint hadn’t given it his all, but it was mostly because they had thought to catch him to prevent his head hitting the floor.

 

Fuckers.

 

Thor held in his comments for the time being, though his glares increased Clint’s headaches tenfold. Never had Clint been so glad that he had to be taken to the hospital.

 

He was ushered in to a car by Natasha and Bucky while the others went to go break up the party. Shortly after they got in, Tony climbed in to the passenger seat next to Bucky.

 

“The others are meeting us there, I sneaked away so I don’t have to help clean up anything. Take the wheel Bucky”.

 

As Bucky started the car Tony turned around to face Clint.

 

“There was this scrawny kid in a James Bond costume who seemed to believe that we were going in to the woods to bury your body. Should we expect a call to the police? They’re only gonna give me so many chances”.

 

“Urrrrgh” Clint replied and closed his eyes and leaned his head back. He thought he might have been foaming in his mouth.

 

“That’s Phil” Natasha said quietly. “I’ll send him a message to let him know what happened.”

 

While Natasha was preoccupied Tony poked Clint several times in order to rouse a reaction.

 

“Damn kid we really did a number on you. Don’t think that we’ll be lenient after this or that this is the end of it though”.

 

“Tony” Natasha snapped. “Are you fucking kidding me? He probably has a concussion thanks to you guys and your bullshit.”

 

“It wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t tased Thor. Who is never going to let that go by the way.”

 

Thankfully they pulled in to the hospital parking lot before the argument could continue.

 

Clint was pretty sure he saw some of the nurses snicker at his costume. Especially when he had to sit on the examination table.

 

They did make a funny sight, especially as Tony kept on lifting the gun of his Transformer costume, aiming it at Clint’s head and making loud obnoxious blasting noises.

 

Clint thought it was hilarious.

 

Eventually the others were let in from the waiting room after Clint had been subjected to the standard tests.

 

Steve got straight to the point. “Does he have a concussion doctor?”

 

The doctor straightened up a bit when he turned to face Steve but Clint figured he’d do the same thing if he were talking to Uncle Sam. Despite Thor being the eldest it was pretty clear that Steve was the head of their family in their uncle’s absence, and the costume pretty much took it to a whole new level.

 

“You said he was exhibiting signs of having a concussion when he first regained consciousness, but the slurred speech is gone and he’s regained his balance. I’d say he’s just a little bit…slow” the doctor shrugged apologetically and Clint heard someone snort.

 

The doctor turned back to Clint “You’ll have a nasty headache for a couple of days, I’d recommend you take it easy.” The doctor left the room.

 

“Is there someone you need to call Clint? Shall we you him a ride home?”

 

“Yeah please” Clint muttered “I live in the orphanage a couple of streets over from school. Isn’t the doctor gonna discharge us or prescribe something?’’

 

“With a town this they don’t bother” Bucky answered. “If you die he’ll know to do more next time and you can get whatever you want from the pharmacy no questions asked. Besides, he’s well acquainted with us and he knows we know what to take for head injuries”.

 

“Small town” Clint garbled.

 

“We got asked if our parents were abusing us when we were younger, cos of all the injuries we had” Tony snickered. “Then they saw us in a room together and figured that they really shouldn’t bother with prescriptions.

 

Clint was a little bit horrified.

 

“You probably miming shooting him in the head while he was getting checked for a concussion probably made us look even worse” Natasha responded dryly.

 

“A fucked-up family's a fucked-up family, whether or not robots are involved.” 

 

 

 

“I can’t believe I brought you in to this freak show” Natasha whispered to him in the car.

 

“Hey” Clint told her trying to make light of the situation “I personally think a dent in my head makes quite the conversation piece”.

 

Natasha’s glare told him that she was not amused and Clint realized just how worried she was. Nobody had ever worried over him before and he didn’t know how to act in this kind of situation. To be honest, he was surprised they had even taken him to the hospital and footed the bill for both that and his painkillers. And Natasha hadn’t left his side once, even offering to hold his hand, as he had been a damsel in distress yet again.

 

“I liked this” Clint blurted out. Natasha gave him an incredulous look “Well not being dropped headfirst on to the ground but…Just to be clear, I know exactly how pathetic this sounds, but I want people to take care of me. I like you being there for me, and practically going ape shit towards your brothers”. He honestly didn’t want to know what she had been screaming at them in the waiting room, but he’d felt ride well up in his chest when it happened. “It's not so much the comfort itself as knowing there's someone who wants to take care of you. I’ve never had that before and I’ve had some pretty messed up injuries” 

 

Tony made a fart noise and then began pretend gagging and retching and really, Clint couldn’t blame him. But it wasn’t his fault. Bucky was playing and singing along to Whitney Houston’s cover of “I Will Always Love You” a song that brought out raw emotions in Clint because he had associated it with absolutely no one.

 

That fact would die with him.

 

And Natasha squeezing his hand made it easy to tune out Tony.

 

 

It was awkward dropping him off in front of the orphanage. Natasha’s brothers were shuffling their feet and didn’t want too look right at it.

 

“Call us if you need anything” Steve urged, and hey, Clint seemed to have won him over out of sheer guilt.

 

“Now that I you’ve finally given me your address, I’m going to come check on you first thing tomorrow” Natasha said, kissing him on the cheek.

 

Clint’s goofy grin brought back her brother’s glares.

 

Clint really couldn’t catch a break.


	7. Chapter 7

They left without starting anything. Clint suspected that they were tired not that they had begun to like, or even tolerate him.

True to her word, Natasha did come to visit him several times over the weekend, during both the morning and the evening. One time she even brought Phil with her. They seemed to hit it off which Clint thought was…bizarre. Not bad, just unexpected.

He’d had mixed feelings about Natasha coming to visit him in the orphanage. Before she’d seen it and been it, it had just been a distant far off mention that Clint could pretend didn’t come between them. He’d seen where she lived; everyone classified it as the ‘rich’ side of town. She had a large, beautiful home, a large space to get comfortable in and to call her own. In contrast, he was lucky to have a room to himself in the hellhole he lived in, and he lived in his room and practically never left it. If you couldn’t have a family or a home, the next best thing was to be left alone. With the constant screaming and shouting of the children, the dull atmosphere, and the general gloomy atmosphere, Clint had come to the conclusion that orphanages were the only places that left him feeling and empty and full at the same time. He’d expected Natasha to be repulsed, or at least incredibly awkward.

But she hadn’t even batted an eyelashe at Clint’s surroundings. Though she didn’t seem overly fond of the children, they didn’t at all annoy her, she’d even brought a bag of lollipops for the younger ones. The noise didn’t bother her, which Clint suspected was a result of her living with her brothers. And she took advantage of Clint’s cramped bedroom by sitting as close to him as possible. Phil didn’t seem to mind either, when he visited it.

“Is it true you tased Thor, so he threw you off the roof?” Phil asked when Natasha left the room to use the bathroom.

Clint gave him an incredulous look. “Nat told you what happened, you know the rumors are bull”.

“Yeah I know” Phil sighed. “But I thought maybe she was trying to cover her brothers attempted manslaughter and you really were that badass”.

“I really did tase him” Clint yelped. I just did by accident. What did Nat say?”

“That her bro picked you up and dropped you on your head” Phil said. “Which doesn’t make you sound to good. But with the way the school is buzzing about it because of the party, you might be able to twist the details to your favor”.

One good thing to come out of the altercation was Natasha playing nurse to him. She brought him food, gave him massages (which had a lot of potential to them), peppered him with kisses and generally just showered him with attention, reminding him the whole time that one day he would repay the favor.

Since he’d taken the leap during one unforgettable walk in the park, they’d been doing a lot of kissing lately. More so now that she had started coming over after school. When Natasha didn’t have any classes after school, they would walk home together, and Clint’s stop was first. They’d never gone further than making out, because eventually Clint would someone’s shrieks outside his room and feel…dirty. 

They sometimes did some work together, but Clint mostly saved that for Phil. He had other things to do with Natasha.

Several days after the rooftop incident, Clint had wrangled enough money to ask Natasha out on a date that wasn’t free. He felt like this was a milestone in their relationship.

He stood outside the school with her, waiting for her ride to come.

“I still think taking both Ballet and Martial Arts is kinda weird,” teased Clint. “Which is it today?”

“Ballet” sniffed Natasha. “And there’s no reason I can’t kick ass in a tutu”.

“Can’t wait for the movies tomorrow” Clint grinned. “Meet you there?”.

Before Natasha could answer a male voice exclaimed, “That sounds awesome!”

Both Clint and Natasha jumped; they had been too absorbed in each other to notice the car pull up. They turned, bewildered, to face Steve who was driving the car. He flashed them a grin “It sounds so awesome, I think that we should all go. All of us”. 

Clint had absolutely no response to that.

 

All in all he wasn’t too bitter about it. Her brothers paid, so he got to hold on to his money for another occasion. Natasha, however, saw absolutely no bright side, and hadn’t stopped scowling since she arrived. Clint would have been almost flattered if he were her, and literally all his brothers banded together to make sure some random homeless chick wasn’t putting the moves on him. Almost.

It was their first reunion since the rooftop incident and with the exception of Bucky and Steve, they hadn’t stopped glaring.

“That looks like it could be inappropriate,” Steve admonished Natasha in response to the movie Natasha picked out. “Lets play it safe with something else”.

Clint doubted that many men who were the size of these guys went to go see the sequel to ‘How To Train Your Dragon”. He respected them for that.

“Of course you and Clint can sit together” Steve pacified Natasha following her surly accusation. “You guys sit in the middle, Thor and I will be on either side of you, Bucky will be behind you, and Tony Bruce will be in front of you. That way we’re all around you, and we can see and hear you. You know, in case you need something.”

Steve insisted that he be next to Natasha, which meant Thor was next to Clint. Clint could feel him clenching his fist periodically through the film.

Halfway through the film that Clint in all honesty thought was awesome, Natasha leaned over to him. 

“Did you see the first one?” she whispered.

“Yup. There was a field trip to go see it for some of the kids and I volunteered to go. I like it. I have a weakness for the whole ‘Nobody-to-somebody’ plotline. Wonder what that could mean”.

Natasha snickered quietly “Do you know why Steve picked it?”

“To assure there is absolutely no sexual tension?”

He could hear the smile in Natasha’s voice when she answered. “Partly. Mainly because this was my favorite series as a kid. He read them to over and over again. And then he got me to read them to him. I can remember every single word I learnt from these books”.

“I didn’t know they were books”

“I still have the whole collection. The author hasn’t actually finished it yet. I remember the beginning used to upset me, because it was the narrator as on old man saying that there used to be dragons when he was a kid. I hated that. Children’s books shouldn’t bring up the fact that certain things have to end once you grow up. Real life does that. I’ll still read the books from time to time but I skip the first page”.

Clint reached over to hold Natasha’s hand, because boyfriend instincts told him this was about more than just children’s books, but he was forced to withdraw his hand by Bucky throwing a handful of caramel popcorn at his head.

“Oops” Bucky said as Clint attempted to pick the kernels out of his hair. “You hands must be really sticky. Sorry man but we don’t have any napkins. Just stay like that till the end of the movie.”

Clint was surprised afterwards that everyone seemed to have enjoyed the movie, and surmised that the book readings had been a family event. 

“I never got that though,” Bucky declared. “That animals sniff each others butts to see if the other is friendly. What if humans did that?”

Desperate to test the theory Buck y walked over to Steve and sniffed his hair. “I’m no sniffing your butt man I’ve already seen too much of it over the years. Your hair smells nice though, have you been borrowing Nat’s shampoo?”

“Ok this is officially getting creepy. You stay over too much if you know our individual shampoos” Tony remarked. Steve acted as though Bucky sniffing his hair was a normal occurrence.

In response Bucky walked over to Tony and knelt own to sniff his head. “Why do you smell like Doritos, you weren’t eating any? Hold on, let me get another whiff”.

“Get off me!” shouted Tony. “The overgrown puppy wont stop sniffing me” Tony told random onlookers.

Everyone started laughing at their antics as an increasingly agitated Tony kept on trying to bat a persistent Bucky away.

Clint smiled to himself and Tony snorted when he caught it.

“We’ll see if you’re still smiling at dinner tonight” he told Clint with a smirk.


	8. Chapter 8

Being around Phil so much was starting to have a detrimental effect on Clint.

His eye had started twitching whenever he got nervous, just like Phil.

And the idea of having dinner with Natasha and her entire family made him very very nervous.

Clint had been silent the entire to Natasha’s house. His eye hadn’t stopped twitching once. Bruce seemed to think that Clint was attempting to wink at him from across the room as he wrinkled his nose at Clint before stalking in to the kitchen.

No matter. It’s not like his opinion of Clint could have gotten lower.

Natasha hadn’t spoken much to Clint in the car, as she was still fuming at her brothers. But when he saw hr begin to set the dining room table he ran over to help.

“When’s your Uncle coming home?” Clint asked.

“In about fifteen minutes. He always comes just as we’re about to start eating.” She handed Clint the rest of the plates. “Can you finish setting the table and then go in the kitchen to help my brothers? I’ll join you in a second.”

Clint nodded and she kissed his cheek as she left.

When he finished setting the table he ventured in to the kitchen. Everyone but Steve was there, and they fit in comfortably as it was easily more than triple the size of Clint’s bedroom. Tony and Bruce were chopping various foods on the counter while Bucky and Thor were leaning on the other side of the counter and sharing a bag of chips. No one seemed to notice him walk in.

“I just don’t see why we have to go to all this trouble to make some idiot who injured me happy” Thor was grumbling. “Even if it is for Nat’s sake.”

Tony was slicing up chicken. He took a drumstick and dropped it on the floor. He kicked it around a little, picked it up and put it on the edge of a plate.

 

"There," he said, "We'll give him this drumstick."

 

"Deal!” Thor guffawed.

 

“Not cool guys,” a voice behind Clint said. All the others turned to face Clint and Steve, who had just entered the room. No one looked in the least bit sorry.

 

“Everyone clear out so dinner can actually be ready on time” Steve ordered “Clint you stay.” 

 

Everyone but Bucky immediately left the kitchen. “ You too” Steve addressed Bucky smirking. Bucky gave Steve an over exaggerated pout but complied.

 

“Do you guys always cook together?’’ Clint asked as he watched Steve throw aforementioned drumstick away and immediately begin to take control of the kitchen. If Clint could have a single ally in this situation other than Natasha, his best bet was Steve. He seemed somewhat reasonable, and he’d assumed the role of a parent over Natasha more than the others. Making conversation was crucial.

 

“Usually everyone sorts themselves out, since there’s so many of us and we all have different schedules. But it’s tradition to cook and eat together every time Uncle Nick comes home. I usually end up finishing the job bit I don’t mind,” he said as he finished chopping the chicken with finesse and skills that Clint believed ranked somewhere between Jedi and Ninja.

“It’s really important to me to sit down to a meal, to have a regular mealtime. It’s anchoring. It’s predictable. It’s stabilizing. Sometimes when I’m really busy and we know Uncle Nick’s coming home I think ‘Oh, I have to make dinner,’ it’s almost a relief. I know what to do, and I have my meals that I know how to make for my family. 

He turned to Clint with a serious expression and Clint had to resist the urge to avert his eyes. “We invited you over for a special occasion Clint. Natasha doesn’t risk bringing guys over, you’re important to her. So I’m gonna try and get to like you, and that means having you around for special occasions. I’ll even try and ease up a little; I’m not looking to tear your arm of anymore. Just break it.” Steve ended his speech with a grin and passed Clint a knife so he could help with the chopping.

At least Clint had a weapon to defend himself with.

Natasha joined them a little bit later and they continued preparing dinner in relative silence, until Natasha spilled sauce all over her clothes and had to excuse herself to go and change.

The house had a big ornate door that made a clear sound when it was opened. That and the excitement of both the dog and all the others alerted Clint that Uncle Nick was home.

Steve and Clint walked out of the kitchen together.

You're twelve minutes late, " Steve said. "I was listening for sirens. You weren't in an accident, were you?"

The man who was currently the centre of attention snorted. “This why I insisted on getting a dog when you all became teenagers. So someone could be happy to see me home”.

Clint hadn’t really stopped to wonder what Uncle Nick looked like. Natasha had given him an air of mystery, and Clint had always felt a hint of intimidation at the mention of him.

It had manifested to more than just a hint as the large African American man who towered over Clint surveyed him with one eye. Because the other one was covered with an eye patch. Clint knew he shouldn’t stare, but he also couldn’t stop.

“I married in to the family” the man said wryly in response to Clint’s gawking. “And you’re not mine. Who’s this?’’ 

“Natasha brought home a boy” Tony interjected with a shit-eating grin.

“He happens to be a very nice boy” Natasha interjected as she came down the stairs. “Hi Uncle Nick’’ she said with a smile as she walked over to the man and hugged him.

“There’s no such thing,” he snorted, his gaze not leaving Clint for a second.

“Nat,” Steve interrupted with a sigh. “What are you wearing?”

She had changed in to a tank top and shorts, both that did excellent jobs of displaying all her assets. Clint certainly had no objections to her outfit.

“Do you not have any money to buy clothes?’’ Steve asked “Nick give Natasha some money’’.

Nick brushed Steve off with a laugh, causing him to frown, and he threw his arm around Natasha and they walked towards the table together, with the others trailing behind them.

Everyone talked mostly among themselves at the dinner table. Clint wanted to start a conversation with Natasha, but Nick seemed to fix him with a piercing stare whenever he tried. Clint thought it would be prudent to just stay quiet.

“Clint you haven’t asked what Nick does yet!’’ Bucky exclaimed from the other side of the table. “He comes up with something different every time you ask”.

“Every time I come home I wonder if you’re still gonna be there or if they kicked you out and you’re wandering the streets homeless Barnes” Nick grumbled, but Clint could see that it was in jest “I don’t know which I hope for more”.

“We know its something straight out of Mission Impossible though,” Bucky continued, ignoring Nick. He reached over for Nick’s bag that was by his side even at the dinner table. “He’s got all the tools necessary for an awesome action movie.” Bucky began rifling through the bag and pulled out cuffs, a beeper, and a travel pack of cards and set them on the table. "And here's his gun, " he said proudly, pulling it out. "Isn't it a beauty?"

Clint, though incredibly freaked out, had to admit it was a pretty cool gun. It had a stainless steel frame and carved wood grips

"My God, " Steve shouted, "Put it away! Someone take the gun from him before he kills himself!"

The cylinder was open and clearly empty of rounds. Clint didn't know much about guns, but he knew this one couldn't go bang without bullets. "It's empty, " he said. "There are no bullets in it. " He didn’t want to think about where the bullets were.

 

Bucky had both hands wrapped around the gun with her finger on the trigger.  
He closed one eye closed and sighted on the china closet. "Ka-pow, " he said. "Ka-pow, kapow, ka-pow. "

 

Nick busy with his chicken, studiously ignoring everything. In fact, no one else seemed to look up from their plates. This seemed to be somewhat of a common occurrence.  
"I don't like guns at the table, " Steve said. "And your food is getting cold. I'll have to reheat the gravy. "

 

Clint wondered how that seemed to be Steve’s major worry.


	9. Chapter 9

Clint had lived in orphanages his entire life. The food was menial, the company loud and boisterous and not in a good way. Every single meal was a new experience.

But never had he had a meal like this one.

“I was just trying it out,” Bucky explained. And all I got was the wall, I really don’t see the problem”.

“Why’d you wait till my back was turned?” Nick asked exasperatedly. “Why didn’t you just ask?”

“Because what kind of responsible adult would let someone shoot a gun at the dinner table?” “Besides I didn’t get him so this is all moot point”.

“I just want to understand what you were trying to accomplish”.

“I was just trying to bring some new experiences to the dinner table. Jeez”.

“And you just happened to be aiming near Clint?” Natasha seethed. “I understand no body is happy about me dating him but I think shooting him is overkill. We need to communicate better” she deadpanned.

“I wasn’t aiming. If I were aiming, he’d be dead. I’m willing to sort it out through cuddles. ”

“We’re not cuddly people”.

“What about the gaping hole in your wall” Clint interjected, feeling more than a little overwhelmed. Mainly because everyone else was watching this conversation pretty placidly and honestly had barely reacted to the sound of the gunshot. In fact, they had just continued eating. Clint himself seemed to be unable to move from his chair from the shock.

“Oh its no big deal” Bucky said with a wave of his hand. “This isn’t the first time this is happened. It’s just the first time this has happened in front of company”.

Nick held his hand out for the gun wordlessly and Bucky handed it back.

"This gun won't do you any good if you don't have bullets in it, " Bucky said . "How're you gonna catch those killers without bullets in your gun?"

“Aren’t the police going to come at the sound of a gunshot” Clint blurted out as it occurred to him.

Everyone snorted in unison.

“They know better than to come to this house” Nick informed him with a smirk.

Clint wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to know the story behind that.

And so he followed everyone else’s example and simply continued eating. 

He made sure to squeeze Natasha’s hand under the dinner table though.

 

Once everyone had finished and began taking their plates to the kitchen, Clint sidled up to Natasha.

“So…Bucky just lives here?”

“Yup” she answered simply.

“What about his family?”

“They travel a lot because of their jobs. And they don’t really care. Bucky’s always lived here, I can’t even tell you when we got the spare bed put in. He’s family.” She shot him an apologetic glance “I’m really sorry about dinner”.

Just as Clint was about to answer, Tony pushed himself between them.

“We said he could stay for dinner. And we spent the whole morning around him. When Nick’s home, its family time.” Tony said firmly, not even bothering to glance at Clint.

“He’ll be family soon enough” Natasha responded determinedly, causing Tony’s eyes to narrow. “Come on I’ll walk you home.”

“Oh no” Steve intervened, coming up from behind them “It’s getting dark out. I’ll drive him and you stay here”.

“I’m fine actually” Clint interjected with a forced smile. Getting shot at then getting kicked out. Lovely. “I’m used to walking”. Subconsciously he leaned over to give Natasha a kiss, and practically heard everyone hissing. He practically ran out the door.

As he started the long trek home he looked at the buildings around him. On this side of town all the houses had perfect lawns and various expensive expenditures. He hadn’t noticed before but Natasha had an elaborate tree house. He spotted one house that had a mini golf course around the back. Another had a ceramic statue of a two dogs humping.  
These people had too much money.

He’d mostly been situated in blue-collar neighborhoods, but none of them had an alternative lifestyle like this town did. Houses were attached and narrow. Yards were small. Cars were American. The people were mostly Italian descent, with enough Hungarians and Germans thrown in to offset inbreeding.

He’d only walked a couple of blocks when he came across a middle aged man smoking and staring at him intensely. Beginning to feel uncomfortable Clint spoke:

“Can I help you sir?”

“Goddamn doctors. I have to sneak out of my own house just to get a cigarette." He made a dismissive gesture. "I can't stand being in that house, anyway. It's like a mausoleum filled with a bunch of stiffs. Goddamn pink piece of shit."

 

"If you don't like the house, why do you live in it?"

 

"Good question. I should sell it. I never liked it, right from the beginning, but I just got married and my wife had to have this house. Everything with her was pink." He reflected for a minute. "What was her name? Trixie? Trudie? Christ, I can't even remember."

 

"You can't remember your wife's name?"

 

"I've had a lot of wives. A lot. Four. No, wait a minute . . . five."

 

"Are you married now?"

 

He shook his head. "I'm done with marriage. Had a prostate operation last year. Used to be, women married me for my balls and my money. Now they just marry me for my money." He shook his head. "It's not enough. You've gotta have standards, you know?" He scrunched up his nose. 

“This cigarette tastes like ass," he said. 

 

Clint wasn't sure what ass tasted like, but he looked like he would know, so he was willing to take his word for it’

 

“Uh huh” Clint answered doing an abrupt turn and heading back to Natasha’s house.

 

“You have creepy neighbors,” he said immediately in answer to their perplexed looks once they had opened the door. “He seemed pretty harmless but this seems like the kind of neighborhood where people bury each other in their backyards and the cops could care less. And it really was getting dark

 

Natasha chuckled and he could hear Tony making a out a comment under his breath about pansies.

Later, after Steve had driven him back to the orphanage, Clint had a moment of enlightenment. It was late, past eleven. He’d been getting ready for bed as there was nothing else to do. Maybe it was that Tony’s comment had caused him to bristle, maybe it was temporary insanity, Clint simply couldn’t explain the need to go trek back to Natasha’s house.

It was easy enough to sneak out; he’d done it hundred of times. He walked quickly to avoid thinking about being murdered by a paranoid housewife wielding an iron.

He climbed over the fence once he reached Natasha’s house, thanking god that it wasn’t electric. He wouldn’t have put it past them.

Once he reached where he knew where her bedroom was situated, he nearly groaned.

So incredibly cliché.

He threw rocks at her window.

“Romeo, Romeo, where art thou Romeo” he called when Natasha’s head appeared, bewildered, as she stuck it out the window.

“Clint what the hell?” she said gaping at him.

“I realized today that I love you,” he told her simply. “Even though it’s only been a couple of weeks. I realized this upon my near death experience today. And what’s more romantic than doing it a la ‘Romeo and Juliet’?. I don’t know I just didn’t want to wait t o say it…” He began to ramble.

He couldn’t be sure because of the distance but he thought he saw a smile begin to form on Natasha’s face.

“They die you know. After like, three days of knowing each other”.

“Then why the hell is it so famous?! That’s pathetic they barely knew each other! I can think of much better love stories. Like Batman and Catwoman. Or Princess Leia and Han Solo”. The last one made him pause. Not far off the mark.

“Clint?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you too”.

He knew Natasha could see his grin. It was impossible to miss.

“Aren’t you supposed to climb up here or something?”

“My ladder’s at home.”


	10. Chapter 10

Clint sighed for the fifth time as he drummed his fingers on the desktop.

At least the wait gave him some time to think.

It had been two days since dinner at Natasha’s house. Clint knew her brothers feelings towards him: Steve accepted him, Bucky found him inconsequential and the rest hated him with the passion of a thousand suns. That was safe territory.

Her Uncle liking him was not.

Natasha had told him that Nick liked him wanted see him again soon over lunch that day in front of a disbelieving Phil, rendering him shocked and more than a little scared. Phil’s paranoia was still rubbing off on him and he was convinced that this was, as Phil had hissed at him once Natasha had left, an attempt to lure him in to a false sense of security.

Clint wasn’t an idiot. He knew he was extremely unlikable. Most of the time he made sure of it, but it had become effortless.

He glanced at the clock hanging over the board and scowled. It was bad enough that he had to be tutored in Physics because he was falling behind, but the guy had the nerve to keep him waiting even more after school? 

When the door slammed open and his tutor entered Clint wished that he hadn’t been so impatient.

“Oh what the hell!” Clint exclaimed as Bruce closed the classroom door behind him. “There is no way you are certified!”

Bruce snorted. “No one in this town is certified to teach. So long as somebody shows up the school is happy. There’s a rumor that Miss Hill shot her husband and people couldn’t care less.” Bruce slammed his books on the desk. “I know how to get you to pass Physics. That’s all that matters. Unless of course, you’d rather have Tony as your tutor…”

“No, No” Clint said hastily, pulling up a chair for Bruce. 

Bruce immediately sat down and began flipping through the first book in the pile. 

“Is this just so you can drive me away from Natasha?” Clint questioned exasperated. “Cos I really need someone who can help me…”

“They assigned you to me” Bruce said monotonously, flipping through the textbook. “ Our Uncle makes Tony and I do this to get us out of the house. If anything goes wrong because of your never ending whining, its not on me. And don’t go whine to Natasha”.

 

“I don’t whine to Natasha,” Clint protested. 

 

“Don’t discuss Natasha with me, either,” Bruce said flatly. He pulled out a stray sheet from amidst Clint’s textbook and surveyed it despite Clint’s protests.

 

“How the hell did you get a two out of thirty on your last exam? Why did they bother to finish marking your test? And what kind of idiot spells electricity wrong? More than once. Weren’t you taught how to spell? ”

 

“No I was taught how to use spell check, ” Clint grumbled.

 

Bruce pushed the exam towards him with disgust. “Look over this and re-write all your answers. Have mercy and use your textbook”.

Clint thought that was grudge work, but he was too tired and frankly, scared to complain. Bruce rarely displayed emotion, like sociopaths. It unnerved him.

Bruce took a box from out of his bag and pulled out a slice of pizza. The smell made Clint’s stomach ache. The cafeteria food was horrible. 

 

"You should try the cheese in the crust, "Clint told him. "It'll blow your mind."

 

"I'm a traditionalist, and also not a child. And the first rule in imposing on you is that while your working there will be no speaking. None.”

 

“I just don’t understand Physics” Clint complained.

Clint meant it. The subject both eluded and tortured him.   
One day last week when he was studying it he realized he’d eaten six Kit Kats that he’d pilfered from the kitchen in 10 minutes. He hadn’t realized he was the emotional eating type.

Bruce put his pizza down with a weary sigh and wiped his hands on a napkin from his bag and then discarded the exam paper.

“Let’s begin from the beginning,” he said grudgingly.

An hour later, Clint was in awe of Bruce’s prowess. Natasha hadn’t been exaggerating when she’d called him a genius. He had managed to convey several months’ work of information to Clint in a matter of minutes. 

“Gee thanks” Clint said sarcastically as Bruce handed him a copy of “Physics for Dummies” that he had brought with him.

“Don’t underestimate that series” Bruce replied. “Despite the title its pretty helpful. Everything you need is in there”. Bruce began packing up”.

“It’s over all ready?” Clint asked incredulously.

“Time flies when you’re having fun” Bruce deadpanned. He waited until Clint finished packing and then followed him out the door.

When they got to the corner and Bruce didn’t leave from an exit that made it easier to reach his house Clint realized Bruce was walking him all the way out the door. "I don't need an escort, " he said. "I'll be fine. "  
He had his hand at Clint’s elbow, steering him forward. "Don't flatter yourself. I'm not nearly so concerned about your welfare as I am about getting you the hell out of my life. I want to make sure you leave. I want to see your tailpipe fading off into the sunset.”

“That’s a little strong” Clint protested. “I cant be that bad to tutor”.

Bruce gave him a scathing look.

When they finally reached the exit Clint saw a car parked directly in front of the steps. 

“Come on geeks!” Bucky shouted honking the horn.

Bruce immediately traipsed towards the car and Clint feebly waved goodbye to his back. Bruce never spared him a glance.

Bucky however grinned and waved enthusiastically from the car. ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ was blaring from the radio and Bucky was singing along.

Clint felt an involuntary smile on his face. He liked Bucky. You can tell a lot about someone from how intensely they get into ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’.

As they drove away Clint stood for a second wondering where to go. The whole experience still felt surreal. He’d half expected Bruce to tell him that he’d only continue to tutor him if he broke up with Natasha. Or that the lessons would transform in to actual physical torture sessions orchestrated by Natasha’s brothers.

He passed by Phil’s house to clear his head. He couldn’t go to Natasha’s because, frankly, he was a little scared.

“No threats, nothing?” Phil questioned as he set up the play station.

“Nothing. He didn’t want to be there and he was an asshole as always but you know, not Tony level asshole”.

“Bruce is a guy of few words,” Phil told him. “He may have been quiet but he was probably plotting your death the whole time”.

Clint shuddered. In all honesty he had been on edge the entire lesson. He had kept on waiting for the other shoe to drop. In his own quiet way Bruce was the scariest out of all of them. There was always this tension surrounding him.

“Maybe he knows that Nat invited me to go away with her family for Christmas and so he’s biding his time”.

“She what?!” Phil exclaimed, “You never told me that!”

“Yup. The weird thing though is that she said it was her Uncle’s idea”. 

“Where are they going?”

“They have a house in the Hamptons”.

Phil whistled. “Swanky”. 

“Yeah” Clint replied glumly. “I’m kinda way out of my league here”.


End file.
